Emporium Blog

As always I was having my meal alone again, at some food court in some shopping complex. I was not in my best of mood. It is more like a state of mood I am in most of the time.

There is this lady who came near my table asking for permission to take some empty chairs over to her table.

Lady, pointing to the empty chair: Ada orang ke? (”Is there someone?” *in Bahasa Malaysia)

Me: Lei kong mat chat? (”What are you talking about?” *in rude Cantonese)

In Malaysia, most Malays cannot understand the Chinese language. However, most other races can understand and speak fluent Bahasa Malaysia. The Malays are often very reluctant to speak in other languages than theirs. Even if they speak in the English Language, they will have accent, with their own flow and generous fare of lah’s. I am not in the mood to make her understand, not this time.

The lady was taken back slightly and looks quite surprise at my response. Somehow she summed up her courage to ask again.

Lady, pointing to the empty chair: Ada orang ke? (this time much louder)

Me: Ni Mah Ter. Ni suo seh meh? (Some vulgarities and “What are you talking about?” *in Mandarin)

She scoffs and walks off.

Moral of the story? There is none actually, just fed up.

This post is not meant to be biased or sexist. It is just an observation. It is about the general Chinese women in Malaysia who went overseas for further studies.

Those who are Chinese educated will normally get married to a foreigner there or when they are back.

Those who are English/National educated who went overseas will normally come back single and then get married to locals or they don’t get married at all.

Why like that? How would I know? Hence the title.

Inconsiderate motorists, who hog the fast lane on highways, hear this!

You may drive slowly, you may even stop if you want, but make bloody sure you are not in other people’s way when you do that.

These road hoggers are selfish and oblivious to the dangers and the inconveniences they are causing other road users. I suspect they are somewhat blind and deaf. They could not care less about the flashing lights or blaring horns from the cars behind. I must add they are also bad tempered and ill mannered. The moment you overtake them, often by using the slow lane, they will give you the “I-own-the-road” glance. Some may even give you the middle finger.

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Magnum 4D, Sports Toto, Da Ma Cai number for you to punt on. There is this funny habit of Malaysian motorist which is more common than not amongst the Chinese community. They like to punt on any set of four numbers.

Simply called the 4D Game, it is a simple game of chance. It is simple and easy to play. Just place a small bet on any combination of four numbers and if it is drawn by any of the three lottery operators in the country, you strike a prize.

Often if there are any road accidents, most motorists will slow down, take out a pen and jot down the number plates of the car/s involved in the accident. They believe the more severe the accident, the higher the chance the numbers will come up in the lottery draw.

I have heard of many types of reasoning, if the car is rammed from behind, buy the set of numbers backward. If the car overturned, then six (6) becomes nine (9) and vice versa, etc etc.

There you go, good luck!

Disclaimer: No one is hurt or harmed in the above picture. Numbers may or may not come up in the lottery draw. Please bet within your means. Thank you.

Happy 50th Birthday Malaysia.

Malaysia will be celebrating its 50th Anniversary of Independence on this coming 31st August, 2007. Much has happened in this span of fifty years and much is still left to be desired.

In his recent speech at the First Student Leaders Summit, Raja Muda of Perak Raja Nazrin Shah emphasised the rule of law and the inviolability of the Federal Constitution. It is a noble move to remind those who has taken the Constitution for granted. His speech has in a way awaken many to the fact that the citizen of this country has forgotten and forsaken the true motive and meaning of it.

Meanwhile, the following statement from a fellow Malaysian hits it where it matters and deserves special mention.

The Constitution of our country, apart from being a sacred document, is also a road map established to promote justice, insure domestic tranquility, secure liberty for our posterity and us and uphold the general welfare of our people irrespective of race, colour or creed.

It is the supreme law of the Federation and any law passed after the Merdeka Day that is inconsistent with this Constitution shall, to the extent of the inconsistency, be void (Article No. 4.1).

Any law that is in any respect repugnant to this Constitution or any provision thereof shall not be enacted.

Without any doubt, non-compliance with this obligations will impede progress and peace.

For parlimentarians especially, this is a heavy responsibility to shoulder.

Knowing the Constitution alone is not enough; upholding it and whatever it stands for must be religiously treasured.

–Noel F. D’Oliveiro

I have seen one and I have seen one too many. Drivers who smoke while driving will often flick the cigarette butt out of the car when done. Maybe it is out of convenience, may be it is just the wind. Having a bad habit like smoking is bad enough, add another simply throw rubbish habit and you have the nasty drivers who smoke. To add to insult, it is not illegal in Malaysia to smoke or eat while driving.

I have seen many types of rubbish being thrown out of a moving car. Tissue papers, unwanted bits of papers and wrappers, packets of drinks, plastic bags and tins, rambutan peels, glass bottle from obviously drunk drivers who throw just to break it and you just name it objects. I would not be surprised if someone were to throw some durian skins out of the car during this durian season.

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Sambal Belacan is an immensely popular condiment in Malaysia. It is spicy and is often used in many types of dishes. Some people just cannot do without it at meal time. My neighbour one floor down is one of them. So much so that I can hear them making sambal or rather banging the floor every morning without fail. Sometimes I wonder whether they eat the thing for breakfast.

In the preparation, chili is pounded with belacan in a stone mortar or “batu lesung” (picture). The pounding can last from ten minutes to as long as half an hour. It is believed the longer the ingredient is pounded, the tastier it will be, much to my disgust.

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Everyone wants the best for themselves and their children. I have seen parents going to great lengths to ensure a bright future for their children. Somehow they forgot and do not bother to keep this planet clean, safe and habitable for them.

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There is a meeting scheduled for tonight that I did not attend. It is a meeting between the resident’s association of my apartment and the maintenance company.

They are to discuss about the implementation of an autogate system with CCTV surveillance camera. Security is bad at the apartment where I am staying. There has been a constant spate of break-ins. Car thefts are rampant too. All the residents are very angry and demanded something to be done in order to prevent further incidents.

The autogate system is something that should have been implemented more than ten years ago. It is in the brochure when the developer launches the property. Somehow the Evil Developer did not deliver what they promised and gets away with it.

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I live in an apartment and I have to use the lift everyday. Today is quite a memorable day. The lift opens up and there’s this young, petite and beautiful lady inside. I don’t remember seeing her before. She is definitely not from my floor.

I live high up and there will be some time before the lift hit ground floor. For the moment, there’s just the two of us, alone in the lift. I took my position and stand behind her. She has this almost perfect curvature, clearly outlined waist and hips. Her almost blemish free complexion and great features would make any man drool in lust. (more…)

Faith freedom has been trampled on. Article 11 of the Federal Constitution states that every person has the right to profess and practice his religion is not respected or adhered to. Rukunegara that I have almost religiously recite since my schooling time is no more relevant. I have been betrayed.

The Five Principles of Nationhood or Rukunegara was formulated after the racial riots of May 13, 1969, in an attempt to base the national philosophy on unity and progressiveness (as a whole), whereby concepts which are universal and acceptable to all Malaysian citizens, regardless of ethnic origin or religious affiliation, were adopted as the ideology of the country.

The principles enshrined in the Rukunegara were officially introduced on Aug 31, 1970, in the hopes that it would strengthen national unity in Malaysia’s multicultural society. The declaration of the five principles has been formulated as follows:

Our nation, Malaysia is dedicated to:

• Achieving a greater unity for all her peoples;
• Maintaining a democratic way of life;
• Creating a just society in which the wealth of the nation shall be equitably distributed;
• Ensuring a liberal approach to her rich and diverse cultural traditions; and
• Building a progressive society which shall be orientated to modern science and technology.

We, her peoples, pledge our united efforts to attain these ends guided by these principles:

1. Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan Allah (Belief in God Allah)
2. Kesetiaan kepada Raja dan Negara (Loyalty to King and Country)
3. Keluhuran Perlembagaan (Supremacy of the Constitution)
4. Kedaulatan Undang-undang (Rule of Law)
5. Kesopanan dan Kesusilaan (Mutual Respect and Morality)

Lina Joy appeal was a historic one with legal and social repercussions yet to be seen with the decision going against her. The findings made by the courts is inconsistent at best.

Lina Joy is a Malay convert from Islam to Christianity. Born Azlina Jailani in 1963 or 1964 to Muslim parents, she converted at age 26. In 1998, she was baptised, and applied to have her conversion legally recognised by the Malaysian courts. Though her change of name was recognised in 1999 and so noted on her identity card, her change of religion was not (since it is without the Mahkamah Syariah confirmation document); for this reason, she filed suit with the High Court in 1999, by passing Syariah Court (Islamic court), and then with the Federal Court in 2006. Joy hopes to live openly as a Christian; she was forced to go into hiding by the publicity surrounding her case.

In a majority verdict delivered on the May 30, 2007, the Federal Court rejected her appeal. Her appeal was dismissed 2-1 by Chief Justice Tun Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim and Datuk Alauddin Mohd Sheriff; the dissenting Chief Judge of Sabah and Sarawak Datuk Richard Malanjum wrote that “Hence, in my view this is tantamount to unequal treatment under the law. In other words it is discriminatory and unconstitutional and should therefore be struck down. For this reason alone, the relief sought for by the appellant should be granted, namely for a declaration that she is entitled to have an identity card in which the word ‘Islam’ does not appear.”

Legal recognition would have allowed her to have the change of religion noted on her national identity card; it will also remove the barrier to her marrying her Christian fiance (marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims is forbidden under Malaysian law; typically, the non-Muslim partner is required to convert to Islam). At the moment, Syariah Court alone have the power to deal of Islamic issues, including conversion of religion to and from Islam, which is not something unknown. According to Muslim Lawyers Association spokesman Pawanchek Merican, “..In Negeri Sembilan, the syariah court allow 16 people to renounce Islam ….”.

It had been hoped that Joy’s case would ultimately determine whether Malaysian Muslims can circumvent Syariah Court, and it had become a rallying cause for interfaith, women’s rights, and civil rights groups in Malaysia. According to a senior official in the National Registration Department, for the NRD to change the religion on her identity card would mean that the department would be officially declaring her an apostate, which falls under the jurisdiction of the Syariah Court. The jurisdiction of the Syariah Court over converts from Islam to other religions has been hotly debated by the Malaysian public in the past few years, with this and other court cases involving converts closely followed by the media. Joy is not the first person to apply for recognition of conversion from Islam; another woman named only as “Maria” by the BBC is also pursuing a similar case. Furthermore, in 2006, Malaysian courts granted recognition for the 1936 conversion from Islam to Buddhism of Nyonya Tahir; however, Tahir was deceased by that time.

Malaysian Paypal users cannot accept any payments since 10th May 2007. Paypal requires entering a U.S. Bank Account in order to accept payments. Many suspect and thought that it is a change of policy for Malaysia. It turned out to be a false alarm. It is a technical glitch afterall and they finally rectify it after fifteen long days. Everything is back to normal now.

When you have payment and clicked to accept it, you are brought to the familiar page where you have a choice of Accept Payment But Don’t Add a Bank Account Now. Click Submit and the next screen appears.

Malaysian Paypal users are not discriminated after all. However, this episode has proven that many Malaysians find it hard to go the right way during time of crisis. Some has gone to the extend of entering a fake U.S. Bank account number in order to accept payment during the period of technical glitch.

It is this group of people that gives Malaysia a bad name in the eye of the world. Shame on you!

According to the Wiki, Futsal is an indoor version of football. Futsal is played between two teams of five players, one of whom is the goalkeeper. Boleh-Futsal in the other hand is a totally diferent ball game altogether.

Boleh-Futsal as seen in the picture is played in an enclosed compound but it is still an open area. In fact it is played in what should effectively be called a Tennis Court, minus the nets of course.

Instead of two teams of five players, Boleh-Futsal has two opposing teams of seven a side, with one side (left-side in the picture) without the goalkeeper. The number of players each side are often determined by who is present that day, up to 20 players a side is not uncommon. There is no half time or full time, it ends normally at dinner time or when the ball owner wants it to end.

To add to the spirit of “Apa Pun Boleh”, players can wear anything and any colour they like, as long as it is not batik. Shorts or jeans, long sleeves or sleeveless, boots or barefooted, anything goes. Team players recognise each other by way of shouting and swearing at each other.

Normally there will be no referee or lines-man, the side who shouts the loudest and argues with the most vulgarities has the advantage.

A goal is scored when the ball crosses the line marked by a pair of slippers. The distance between the slippers varies from team to team. Handicap is given to the weaker team by means of a smaller distance between the slippers making it harder for the stronger team to score.

Still, it is uncivilised to play Futsal in a Tennis Court. I cannot imagine a group of people playing Boleh-Tennis in a football field.

I met an old acquaintance a few days ago, he was my classmate. We exchanged greetings, shake hands and hugged each other like long lost friends. It was a pleasant surprise, having bumped into someone I have not met for such a long time.

We had a few drinks and conversation was all about life when we were young and carefree. We promised to catch up with each other, have gatherings more often. That would be nice.

To cut the story short, we went to the toilet together. That is when I lost all my initial excitement and wished I have never bumped into him.

To my horror, he did not bother to wash his hands after peeing!

Feeling disgusted, I asked him straight in the face, “Why didn’t you wash your hands?” He smiles and say, “Why must?” I am lost for words.

Projet has the cleanest, most well maintained toilet in Malaysia, many can attest to this statement a few years ago. Now the toilets are dark, wet, smells, has drippy faucets, vandalised and pasted with stickers offering services from money lenders to massage parlours.

I wet my pant in one of the toilets, it has this fountain that will aim a gush of water at the most embarrassing spot on your pants the moment the tap is turned. I turned the faucet aiming the other way in order to capture this picture.

News has it that Projet Petrol Stations in Malaysia will be re-branded as Shell Stations at the end of the year. A case of if you don’t buck up, you get taken up.

Why are most of the public toilets in such a sorry state throughout Malaysia? Lack of maintenance or the people are not civilised enough to use them properly?

Many apartments/condominiums have a private pool. Malaysia is among the few countries in the world where you can find people swimming with clothes on. Although there is a dress code to adhere to, people are simply not civilized enough to follow it.

Recently, dress codes in private pools at apartments/condominiums have been relaxed to allow for additional modesty. Many pool operators allow people to swim fully clothed if they can prove that they have a second set of clothes that are only for use in the pool, and if they are willing to go through the showers in this second set of clothes prior to entering the pool. I would understand and fully agree if this applies to women, but that is a man in the pool.

In more developed countries, private pools simply do not allow clothed swimming for hygienic reasons. I would never go into a pool if I see someone there fully clothed. Maybe that’s the reason why I have not swim in a pool for a long time.

Malaysia is notorious for it’s dirty toilets or rather lack of them. I live in a high rise apartment, or condominium. Malaysian in general loves to refer to apartments as condominiums, maybe because the word exudes a certain luxury ring to it. Don’t be mislead.

Basically condominium means a large property complex that is divided into individual units and sold. Ownership usually includes a non-exclusive interest in certain “common properties” controlled by the condominium management.

After years of living in such property complex, I am sad to say that people at some of these places is not ready for communal living yet.

Back to the question: Where to Pee?
Answer:
1) Beneath the staircase.
2) Inside the lift.
3) Aim so that it just misses the urinal in the common toilet.
4) On the wall, inside the community hall.
5) In the swimming pool.

Dogs? No, I meant humans, really.