Emporium Blog

McDonald's Sundae Cone

You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream. That’s kind of the same thing.

The best ice cream in the world, for me at least, has got to be McDonald’s Sundae Cone. Price at Rm1.05 each, it is one of the cheapest ice cream money can buy in Malaysia.

Many will argue that Haagen Dazs is better, Baskin Robbins is better, Swensen is better. Call me a cheapskate, but McDonalds Sundae Cone is the best!

I hate licking ice creams. I will usually ask for a small plastic spoon. They provide them for free.

How to eat with a spoon? Well, it is basically scoop  and eat, scoop and eat,  scoop and eat until the ice cream is at the same level as the cone.

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I had many lavish dinners in restaurant with relatives and friends this Chinese New Year. Of all dishes, the one I enjoyed most is the infamous shark fin soup. Loved by me, detest by some.

While some people swear that it is the apex of cruelty (some even say it is despicable and shameful) to cut off their fins and throw them back into the ocean still alive, I’d say it is the way to do it.

“Why only eat the fins? Why don’t you eat the whole fish?” I heard a loud scream of disagreement from someone.
“Why don’t you try some shark meat?” I screams back.

Don’t you dare pretend you know about sharks when you have not even tasted it. I’ll bet you haven’t even seen a real shark finning footage in the process. National Geographic’s post WW2 grainy black and white footage don’t count. People got finned too back then.

You just swallow and believe everything the ultra conservationist WWF says in their ask-for-donation-save-the-sharks-they’re-losing-their-fins pamphlets. Pictures on the internet shows finning of shark fins averaging the size of an A4 paper. I always wonder why the fins in my soup comes in the size of my nose.

Sharks feed on other small marine animals, they are at the top of the food chain. Sharks can sense blood from a mile away. Sharks thrown into the ocean after finning feed their hungry brethen. This is also a way to prevent them sharks to attack other endangered species like the penguins, baby sea lions and notably the sea turtles.

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A rain dance is a type of ceremonial dance to ask for rain so that the crops are protected. There is this certain tribe who is extremely good at this rain dance. Every time they rain dance, it never fails to rain.

The tribe’s rain dance was so famous that other tribes invite them to do the dance for them. A wise man was curious and he wants to investigate the strangely effective phenomena. If it is true, then the tribe may be the answer to the world’s food production problem.  Drought would have been a thing of the past.  Everybody would be having enough to eat.

So as the story goes, the wise man asked the tribe to perform the rain dance, sure enough it rains. The wise man followed the tribe and make a record every time the rain dance was perform. The success rate was 100%. The wise man was very happy.

The wise man brought the tribe to drought hit places and asks them to do the rain dance, it rains.

The crops still die, people are still hungry. The wise man was puzzled.

The wise man was not so wise after all. Yes, the rain dance is effective. It is because they danced until the rain falls. It did not rain because of the dance.

I am having my meal at KFC. I am alone. I sit at the furthest corner of the restaurant. As usual my order is the Snack Plate, consisting of two pieces of chicken, coleslaw, mashed potatoes and a small bun.

It is boring having to eat alone. Looked around, there are couples, families, friends, all eating together and chatting happily. My mood sank lower. Well, fine, I just have to finish my meal quickly and get out of there.

Somehow someone must have noticed my new haircut that day. A nice pretty little lady walks toward me and she looks happy to see me. I am sure she is smiling at me because I have my back to the wall and there is no one behind me.

My heart beats faster as she comes closer. Uninvited and in a most gracious way she sat beside me.

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Sambal Belacan is an immensely popular condiment in Malaysia. It is spicy and is often used in many types of dishes. Some people just cannot do without it at meal time. My neighbour one floor down is one of them. So much so that I can hear them making sambal or rather banging the floor every morning without fail. Sometimes I wonder whether they eat the thing for breakfast.

In the preparation, chili is pounded with belacan in a stone mortar or “batu lesung” (picture). The pounding can last from ten minutes to as long as half an hour. It is believed the longer the ingredient is pounded, the tastier it will be, much to my disgust.

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